Thursday, May 11, 2017

76 Things #29: Uncomfortably Numb


Over the past few days, the lyrics to “Comfortably Numb” have routinely been playing in my head, particularly this part of the song:
My hands felt just like two balloons
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain you would not understand
This is not how I am


I woke up Sunday morning with a tingling sensation in my left fingertips. 
It’s an irritating sensation, one that has previously traveled up and down my right arm (the feeling still faintly resides in my right forearm).

Unfortunately, when you have MS, waking up with new or odd sensations/symptoms, is a common occurrence.  Life goes on.  And so it did.
It was a beautiful day that our family enjoyed together, tingles or not.

On Monday, I woke up and the feeling had spread beyond my fingertips to encapsulate my entire digits from pinky to thumb.
As of this morning, it’s now my entire left hand, forearm and shoulder.

You know that feeling you get when you wake up and your “arm is asleep”?  That’s probably the best way to describe it.  Except, much to my dismay, my hand and arm continue to hit the snooze button and still haven’t woke up.
Or, to borrow from Pink Floyd, the upper part of my left body is resting (un)comfortably numb.

Trying to open a jar, crack open pistachios or button a shirt is comedy gold.  Holding anything with my left hand is problematic. 

Can I pick up a cup or book with my left hand?  Sure, after just a few seconds of holding it, my hand and arm start to shake – it’s almost as if the MS is saying, “Nope, not going to happen…nice try!”
And much like when your arm or leg “feels asleep”, my left hand and arm feel very heavy to maneuver around.

Adapt.  Adjust.  Abide.
That’s my motto and I’m sticking to it.

When my daughter comes home from school, races over to hug me…and I have to pause and ask her kindly to grab only my right arm – well, I kind of want to take that motto and throw it through a window.
But like any new MS wrinkle, it’s part of my new normal.  Maybe for a few more days, months…who knows. 

It’s also the #29 thing you might not know about my MS.

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