Tuesday, December 29, 2015
I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season...I can't believe it is almost the start of 2016!
I'll admit my lack of energy has really won out over my writing the past few months.
There is a lot of guilt that comes with having a disease like MS...am I giving enough to my family? Am I being the best husband and best father that I can be? Am I being the kind of friend that my friend's deserve?
It doesn't feel great when my MS causes me to miss an event...or our daily plans change in response to my disease.
It puts incredible stress on my wife and introduces our children to ideas (chronic pain, IV treatment centers, daily medication) that, as I look into their pure and innocent eyes, I'm not always prepared to talk about.
In my dream world, I would relegate MS to the background of our family. The loud, obnoxious and outdated wallpaper that needs to be changed but, in the meantime, we are able to live with it.
Unfortunately, dream worlds are just that -- dreams -- and MS has too often interfered with my health and as a result, finding a regular writing schedule has been problematic.
It bothers me that I've faltered in this area of my life. I'm competitive and I don't want MS to beat me but, to be clear, it's much larger than that.
Writing about my MS...communicating to the world how it is to live with a chronic disease...giving a voice to others who might have similar struggles has become a mission to me. So a large part of me feels unfinished. This needs to change -- and it will!
Did you know I have an eye patch that I used to routinely wear while working from home? I even snuck it into to the office at USAA a few times and would quickly wear it when nobody was around or looking (or at least I hope they weren't!)
In addition to sharing more of the "76 Things" (like about my eye patch above), I also look forward to sharing with you more stories, including when and how I was diagnosed at The Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.
I look forward to 2016 and hope you visit often to read about my journey with MS.
Happy New Year!